Do you feel like your life has no meaning? All you do is clean the house. Clean up messes. Change dirty diapers. Clean the house again. Referee arguments and fights. Plea with your kids to do their schoolwork. Do you find yourself craving for a way out or feeling like there’s something more for you than this?
That used to be me. All my life, all I ever wanted was to be a mom. And, yet I found myself living the dream but hating it. I felt like I was stuck. I felt like motherhood was a prison. I wanted out.
What Is Your Purpose?
“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were” (Revelation 4:11).
We were created for one reason: for God’s pleasure. When our lives please God and when we make choices that please God, then we will feel fulfilled in whatever we do.
When our lives don’t please God, then we will feel empty. We will constantly be searching for something to fill that emptiness. How do I know this? Because that used to be me. Sure, I was a Christian but I wasn’t seeking out God’s will for my life. I was wanting to please the world, not God.
It wasn’t until I was left desperately broken when I lost my daughter 6 years ago that I let God fill in all those holes with Him.
If you feel empty right now or if you feel like God has something more for you, then ask God to show you what areas of your life don’t please Him. Ask Him to show you how you can turn everything over to Him.
Your Ministry Is Your Home
I remember when I first heard this, I thought you’ve got to be kidding me. People in the ministry were risking their lives in the jungles of Africa or preaching to thousands every weekend. How could wiping snot off my kid’s face be a ministry?
Every morning during my quiet time, I pray, “Lord, help my life to glorify you to others”. Then, one day it struck me. I want my life to glorify God in my home, to my kids, to my husband. That’s the most important ministry. What I do with my hands, what comes out of my mouth, where my feet take me that day. Lord, help me to glorify you in my home today.
I think the worst case scenario for me is if I misrepresent God’s heart to my own children. It kills me to even think about that. We only have one shot at raising our kids…actually, we have just a few years because by the time they’re approaching teenagers, they’re ready to spread their wings and test out everything you’ve taught them.
You can’t force your kids to accept the free gift of salvation. You can’t force your kids to walk with God. It’s all a decision they have to make on their own and believe it or not, their first beliefs about who God is comes from how they were treated by you.
When I realized all of this, it made me dig deep into myself and look at my behaviors as a mom and as a wife. I asked God to show me what I was doing that misrepresented Him.
My verse for my life as a stay at home mom is 2 Timothy 1:5[amp], “I remember your sincere and unqualified faith [the surrendering of your entire self to God in Christ with confident trust in His power, wisdom and goodness, a faith] which first lived in [the heart of] your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am confident that it is in you as well”.
Have I surrendered my entire self to God? Do you have a steadfast trust in His goodness? It’s these things that you and I can model to our children in our home that will plant those seeds of faith. Water these seeds with the word of God and what you’ve shown them as children will blossom into their own mighty trees of steadfast faith that will carry them into adulthood.
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You’re Doing This for God
I remember when I first heard this as a young mom. It made me chuckle a bit. Why would God care about me cleaning toilets. How can this be for Him? But, as I’ve grown and matured, God has spoken this to me over and over.
The mundane parts of my life are what bring Him the biggest glory. It reminds me of this verse, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24).
And “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God…just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved” (1 Corinthians 10:31b, 33).
We’re to serve the Lord and work in our homes in a way that glorifies God. The world is always watching with curious eyes to see who God is. Our actions and our words can either point people to Christ or they can turn people away from God. I can’t think of anything more awful than someone refusing to accept Christ because of MY behavior.
The most important little eyes are always on us, watching. Do I point my children to Christ with what I say and what I do?
Or, are they going to grow up, wanting nothing to do with the God that made their mommy the way she is?
The Importance of Your Attitude
The show stopper for me as a mom came when I realized the gravity of my attitude. It was a game changer. My attitude had the power to completely change my home. Now, if that change was for the better or for worse, well, that was all in my own power.
I had to stop sulking and complaining. I was such a little turd. God gave me so much. I was living out my dream life and yet I still complained. All. The. Time. And, to think my children heard all that complaining about them? It breaks my heart now. It makes me feel embarrassed.
You can’t do the work of the Lord with a cheerful heart if you’re not first cheerful in your attitude. Because, we can change our attitude but it’s God who changes our hearts. And, how does He do this? By us first changing our attitude.
My heart was so engrained with this attitude of complaining that I had to ask for help. There was no way I could do this on my own. So, I prayed. I asked God to gently nudge me every time I complained. And, this is exactly what He did and how He helped me. Every time I start to have a little pity party, I would hear a little reminder. When I heard that reminder, I would turn my complaint into thankfulness.
I would thank God for my healthy children, the beautiful trees, the way that cloud looked like cotton candy, the way my daughter’s angel hair bounces as she runs around. You see, I started being thankful for every little thing.
And, when I did this, God opened my eyes to the amazing beauty around me. I feel like I am seeing the world for the first time. Everything is tremendously beautiful. Even the way a lady bug slowly crawls around a leaf, zig zagging its way across, scoping out every molecule, searching out its every cell.
How You Can Apply This to Your Life
It’s important to know your purpose as a stay at home mom because if you don’t, then you’ll be irritable. Your kids won’t get to reap the benefits of you sacrificing everything to stay home with them. If you don’t embrace your purpose, then you’ll constantly be trying to find a way out of being a stay at home mom. You’ll reason out getting a job outside the home. We need me to be working to help provide. We need to pay off our car or our credit cards. I want to afford nice clothes for my kids. I want to afford a vacation for my husband because he deserves it.
All these things, though, are worthless in God’s eyes. Worthless in God’s economy.
If what you read today resonates with you, if you find yourself maybe even in tears because you are in the same spot I was just a few years ago, complaining about your kids, trying to find purpose in other things, then let me pray with you:
Father, please search out my heart. Search out my life. Reveal to me areas that you need to hack off and cut away. Reveal areas that are ugly. Show me how my words and my actions are affecting my kids. I want my life, my every word, my every action to do nothing but glorify you. I want my kids to see how awesome and mighty you are, I want them to see just how much you love them…If there’s any small part of me that is taking away from how awesome you are then please just reveal that to me. Show me and help me to change that. And, Father, please show me my purpose in you. I pray that you would send your Holy Spirit to guide me as a mom. To fill in my many gaps, my many areas that I lack. When I’m misrepresenting you to my kids, when I am making them believe that they have to work to earn your favor, then please boldly show me that. Make me hate that behavior. Make me loathe it so much that I turn away and never ever want to come back to that. And, now, I hand them over to your. I hand me over to you. May you be glorified in all that I do and all that I say. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord. In your name I pray, Amen.
If you’re here because you’re searching for your purpose then please let us know! I would love to pray for you. God can shape you, mold you, and change you. You only need to be willing. I love to pray for my readers so please comment below if you need prayer. I also love to counsel young moms who feel this way, who are struggling and feel lost. If you’re in need of encouragement, just reach out through my contact page.
This spoke to me when I needed it most. I have been struggling with my purpose since becoming a new mom. My daughter is almost six months old and the days feel so long sometimes. I keep wondering if this is it? I do the same job every day and I sluggishly pull myself through it. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, my husband and I struggled to get pregnant for four years, and finally we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. I feel so lonely sometimes, and honestly, a little bored. I want to glorify God with my life and I want to believe that even the moments that feel so meaningless, really mean so much. Thank you for reminding me about being thankful, its been a tough area for me. I needed the prayer you wrote and appreciate your prayers for my life. Thank you for your encouragement.
Thank you Summer for sharing because it’s encouraging to me! I remember those days…being so dead bored. I even went back to school when my first was just a few months old, to learn and stimulate my brain. But, I stopped after one term because I just knew that wasn’t the right thing for me. Now, I would give anything to feel bored. It’s hard to be patient and see what God has in store for you. I promise you that this phase will go so quickly. Just keep following what God has for you. Be obedient to His calling for you. Seek His direction in everything you do and He will unveil His plans for you.
This is beautiful Melissa I want to say I’m proud of you for making this tremendous step I certainly in some what same boat I feel bored with my children wondering if I truly have a heart. I need prayers but I would love to be counsel old age woman teach young ones I am in my 20 I have been a stay at home mom and I also struggle with mental health issues bipolar disorder and take medication without the medicine I am battling very negatively. But I delight to really hear some good advice I need to learn to listen and apply and really take accountability for I’m not perfect but Jesus is he has everything I need and I will love to be a mother but a mother after gods own heart. ❤️ I can’t go back to past but I can press forward and challenge myself.. what can I teach my kids about the lord I have a 8 year old and 2 year old and about to be 7 month year old baby. And my husband is more of a natural care taker than I am I get envious and jealousy because I purely don’t see me or my efforts but there is effort just stuck in believing in a lie but recently I try to look at the good thank god .. complaining I was defitenely there from time to time I complain need help and assistance .. but Yeah I would ur reply back thank you . Be loved and blessed you your husband and children ❤️👏☀️🌼👌
Rebekah, I did get your email and I have been lifting you up in prayer. Your story reminds me of David, who most certainly also struggled with bipolar disorder and look at the beautiful things he left us. He had an incredible mind. I relate so much to David, the ups and downs of my faith. Sometimes, it’s so easy and I am shouting from the mountain tops. Other times, I am on the verge of giving up. The best ways to teach your children about the Lord is by modeling your faith to them. Take in God’s word and abide in it. Speak often to your kids about all that God has carried you through. If you mess up, then tell them, “I am sorry for ____. Mommy is a sinner too. Will you please forgive me?” As far as the complaining, you know what? God wants to help you. He wants you to rely fully on Him. A few years ago, I was convicted of all my complaining and I prayed for God to help me. I prayed that every time I started complaining that He would just gently remind me and show me I was complaining. Sure enough, He did just that! And every time He showed me that I was complaining, I would turn that into praise. For example, if I was thinking about how much I hated homeschooling, I would instead speak out loud, “Lord, thank you for this opportunity to be fully involved in my children’s lives. Thank you for providing all the curriculum that we need and for providing for all our supplies”. If I was complaining about the rain, then I would turn it into praise, “Thank you for your beautiful creation and all this rain that makes everything so green and so beautiful so that we can go enjoy it. All the hikes we love to do wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful without this rain”.
Shortly into that, I felt like I was seeing the world for the very first time. All of God’s beauty in His creation was magnified. The sunsets looked 100 times more brilliant. The birds singing was like a soothing balm to my soul. The fall leaves changing color was more vivid than I ever remembered seeing. I will keep praying for you Rebekah and please reach out! Please note that I am on a break from my blog right now, so it will probably take awhile to respond.