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Stay At Home Mom On Purpose

Encouraging moms to stay home even when it doesn't make financial sense

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What makes me an expert? Who am I to come along side you and tell you to quit your job in a step of faith and wait for God to provide?

Since 2010, my husband has lost his job 5 times. Anyone can say how scary just the thought is of the sole provider losing their job…but we have gone through it FIVE TIMES. The first time it happened, I looked for work. But, God closed all the doors and we quickly realized that it was God’s plan for us to continue on with me being a stay at home mom. To provide that normalcy for my children in the midst of chaos. And, each time he has lost his job, it’s always been a no-brainer that I would continue on in my role as a stay at home mom. I would continue tending to my home and my family. 

There have been people that have told me I was being irresponsible. There’s been other hurtful words thrown at us because we have chosen to obey God instead of following what makes sense in the world’s eyes. And, many times I have found myself questioning if I was being irresponsible or if this was really what God wanted us to do. I have slowly learned that I am only accountable to God. 

There’s never been a single time when God didn’t provide for a need. In all of ten years, ALL of our needs have been met. And, yes, we do have wild, crazy stories about food and laundry detergent showing up on our doorstep or random checks in the mail (many of those). God is the provider. Mom is not the provider. Dad isn’t even the provider. God is! Jehovah Jireh is!

My journey has rarely ever been easy. It’s been filled with a lot of tears and a lot of doubt. But, it’s also been filled with a lot of joy and a lot of fulfillment. The world looks at my husband and blames him for losing his job so many times but God’s got a plan in all this. I’ve always known He has brought us through this so that we can use our story to help others. And, so here I am with this blog to encourage you…to maybe inspire you to finally listen to that tugging on your heart to be a stay at home. 

I am so humbled that even through all my doubt…and all my tantrums I have thrown at how hard this has all been…I am humbled that God wants to use me still.

“…Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14b NLT)

Who is this website for?

It’s for moms who have been stirred in their hearts by God to quit their jobs and stay at home with their kids. It’s also for moms who currently stay at home and need encouragement to continue staying home with their kids when they feel that worldly pull to go back to work

Who is this website not for?

If you don’t believe that God provides then this site is not for you. This site is also not for those moms who are called by God to be in the workforce. I believe that God does call some moms to work outside the home.

Read this to get you started:

  • So, You Want to be A Stay At Home Mom?
  • Why God Might Be Calling You to Become A Stay At Home Mom Even When You Can’t Afford It

Why the name, “Stay At Home Mom On Purpose?”

For many years in my little community of stay-at-home-moms, I have heard over and over, “I’m so thankful I GET to stay at home”…and other things along those lines from moms who stay at home because there husband makes good money. But, you know what? That’s always bugged me. I don’t get to stay at home. I CHOOSE to stay at home. Long ago, my husband and I realized that God has called me to stay at home with my kids. We are faithfully obedient to that calling. No matter where life has brought us, I stay at home with my kids on purpose. Not because it makes financial sense. Not because I can’t get a good paying job outside of the home. Not because I don’t have any dreams. I choose to stay at home on purpose because that is what God has called me to do. 

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Hi! My name is Melissa and I would love to encourage you as a stay at home mom or as a working mom who's been feeling that stir to quit your job so you can be a stay at home mom. Who am I to tell you to quit your job because God will provide? Find out here

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The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. It's the kind of The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. It's the kind of place where you have to remind yourself to breathe because the beauty steals your breath. 

We took all 5 of our kids through Yellowstone and while everyone was soaking up God's stunning creation, I was busy trying not to puke with anxiety. I was terrified one of my kids was going to trip and plumet to their brutal death.

This is how the enemy uses fear to steal your joy in motherhood. We can either soak up all the good that God has for us or we can choose to keep our eyes steadfast on all the what if's.

Today, I am going to choose to lavish these moments God has given me on this earth. I will have to make this choice 5,286 times a day because I am prone to worry. Fear is my comfortable place, but it's not a place of beauty. I don't want to be old and think back on my motherhood with regrets that I missed out on everything or that I made my kids miss out because of my own fears. 

Don't let your fears rob your children of their joy.
As women, we have a longing to be more spiritual. As women, we have a longing to be more spiritual. It's an age-old, deeply rooted hunger that the serpent preyed on in the garden when he tempted Eve with knowledge. "For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:5). Many of us busy ourselves with becoming wiser. We read all the books. We take all the classes.

When we feel we've worked on ourselves enough, we set our eyes on our husbands. We try to push him to God. We take on this responsibility of changing our husbands into the men we want them to be. We forget that "... he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6b). It's hard for me to admit I'm probably the biggest offender of this. But, God showed me that I was just interfering with His work in my husband. I was interfering with God being able to use my husband.

I will stand back. I will be still as I watch God work. I choose to look at my husband through God's lenses,"Lord, help me to see my husband through your eyes." I'm going to go against the world and I will ensure the words from my mouth empower my husband to be the man God has called him to be.
Many tears were shed during school this morning. Many tears were shed during school this morning.  My mommy tank gas light came on about a week ago and I have dwindled down to fumes. The kind of fumes where I flee to the bathroom every time I hear, "Mommmmmmy" (which is quite often when you have 5 kids). It's been 6 weeks since I have left my house...6 weeks since I have gotten to spend any amount of time by myself. 
My husband urged me on today to fill my tank. 
I drove and drove, with the worship music loud enough to rattle my lungs, barely tolerable for these aging ears of mine. I worshipped. I cried. I prayed. Then, I stopped and read a book, in complete silence, with only the little birdies distracting me.

It was heavenly. And, I am ready to return home on a full tank.

It's important for us to take time to ourselves as moms. During these difficult times, don't neglect yourself.

What creative things have you done to get mommy breaks when everything is locked down?
Do you have a hunger to feel useful? To have purpo Do you have a hunger to feel useful? To have purpose? 
If you would have played a snippet from my life right now to the 21-year old me, I would never in a million years guess that it was a snippet from my future life. I would have guessed maybe a snippet from some of my other friends who seemed to have it all together and love the Lord. Me? I was one of the bad girls. I got in with the wrong crowd and chose partying over walking with the Lord. 
I think many of us have this desire but give up because we'll never be good enough for God to use us. 
So, how did I go from that to being a useful vessel for the Lord?

Check out the link in my bio to see how God wants to use you...how He can use your hard times to give others life
I am enjoying having to make our own communion bre I am enjoying having to make our own communion bread for church, especially on a day like today. It's much more thoughtful than just walking up and grabbing some off a tray.

It makes me really think about what Jesus went through just for me...all the awful I would ever do, He knew it all and yet He still did it for me. He purchased me with His very own blood. 
Before He even gave His life, He had to go through the fire, to make his body ready to be a sacrifice for us. 
Anyone else making their own?
Sure, I am telling everyone that everything will b Sure, I am telling everyone that everything will be ok. I am telling everyone to trust in the Lord and that He's got this. But, inside, everything is exploding. I am so freaked out that I have the constant urge to throw up and I keep thinking, "Wow, that must have been a great workout at the gym" because my muscles ache so much. But, I haven't been to the gym in a week-they ache because I am so tense.

I picture myself in a game of freeze tag and someone has tagged me. I am standing there, frozen solid in position. I can't move forward. I am paralyzed.

I was laying in bed last night when God gave me this picture. It was of a field of wheat with ripe grain, ready to be plucked. The field blew in gentle waves and stretched on to the horizon.

Then, God showed me how I am absolutely and totally paralyzed with fear. I have an opportunity to be used by God in huge ways but dingbat me is utterly useless right now.

The harvest is ripe but the workers are few. I believe that our nation is going to be more receptive to the gospel than ever before.

I don't know if anyone can relate but I need to stop being such a dingbat. I want to be used by God in this huge opportunity we have. The harvest is ripe and plentiful. I want to see God come in and reap.
Road trip with my girl to watch my niece try on pr Road trip with my girl to watch my niece try on princess dresses (aka wedding dresses). I am so thankful for this special girly time hanging out with my nieces and my daughter.

Taking them on these little trips is one way we get one-on-one time with each of our 5 kids and help them to feel special for a bit.

Do you have any special traditions you do with your kids?

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